Not a Walk in the Park
by jellybean839
Summary: After the end of the fourth book in the Immortals quartet. A walk through Tortall. A robbery? A surprise. Daine’s problems concerning the way Numair talks. DN obviously
1. Muddy Spectacle

Chapter 1

* * *

"Augggh!" Numair cried. "Why in the biosphere did I ever consent to a substantial wedding ceremony!"

Daine smiled. "You agreed to it because you love me oh so much! And, um, Numair, please quit speaking Numairish! What does 'biosphere' mean, anyway?"

"Why, dearest, it means 'world'! And I'm apologetic but I absolutely cannot refrain myself from speaking Numairish- for one, I sound intelligent, and for two, I deduct that it is simply in my circulatory system, to some degree."

"Whatever!" sighed Daine. "I suppose I'll have to either live with it or try to train you from saying your big words."

"Good luck" thought Numair, but then he laughed. "Why are we fighting, Magelet? Today is our happy day!"

"I didn't know we were fighting in the first place, Numair, I thought we were just disagreeing on how your language should change."

Numair grinned and slung his arm around his previous student and soon-to-be wife's shoulders. He had to somewhat duck down to do this, however, as he was so tall and she was so short, and he tripped. They were walking through the streets of Tortall, and even though they were cleaner than most other city's streets, it had just rained for a week.

Numair fell, facefirst, into a large, muddy puddle. And since he had just had his arm around Daine, she also started falling but she got his arm off of her and managed to stay upright. Numair just lay there for a couple minutes, with the wind knocked out of him. A couple of commoners had seen this wonderful spectacle and had started laughing hysterically.

Numair finally got up, face burning, clothes dripping muddy water.

"Let's go," he said to Daine. "Let's go to the palace and I'll change clothes and we can get ready for the wedding."

She acknowledged, "Okay," but she ruined the solemn effect by giggling. "Yes, you'd better change before the wedding."


	2. On the Subject of Clothes

Chapter 2

* * *

They got to the palace thankfully without seeing anyone they knew. But when they got in the palace, they spotted Onua.

"Oh no!" Numair whispered despairingly. "I can't let her see me like this! She'll tell everyone!"

"Numair, your embarrassment is making you lose your mind! Is Onua the kind of person to go around blabbing to everyone and much less, talking at all?" Daine whispered back.

"Well, she'll tell Raoul, and who knows who he'll tell? Or maybe she'll tell Stephen! But I suppose that I will not have to worry about him telling anyone except the horses."

"Yes, he never talks to anyone. Except…"

"Except who! Daine, come on, this is not at all amusing! The world's greatest mage falls in a mud puddle and… ohhhh."

Daine started cracking up. "Ohhhh what?"

"Umm, nothing, magelet."

Then he whispered a word under his breath, his face red, and his clothes magically were cleaned in a split second.

"Um, Numair, please don't get mad at me, but did you just realize that you _are_ the greatest mage in the world?" she asked, clearly fighting to not burst out laughing.

"Well, as a matter of fact, yes I just did," he said with as much dignity as he could muster. "Just because I am a great mage does not necessarily mean that I am not occasionally preoccupied."

"Whatever!" she laughed, shaking her head.

They walked into their chambers and started getting ready for their wedding. Numair would be wearing a black tuxedo-like suit, and Daine would be wearing a pure white wedding dress. But when Daine opened their closet doors to get out their special clothes, they weren't there!

"Umm, Numair, did you happen to, by any chance, move our clothes?" she asked nervously.

"I do not believe that I did. Why?" he replied.

"Well, just the small problem of the fact that they're not here anymore!" she said.

"Oh, well, then- that would be a hindrance," he said calmly. "I would not worry about it too much, magelet."

"Numair!" she admonished. "Our wedding is in about one hour and we're supposed to be getting ready!" She was very worried.

"It is not a problem, dearest," he quietly told her. "You see, I was fearful that someone would in fact appropriate them; consequently, I took the liberty of persuading Buri to guard them for us."

"Whew. I thought they were really gone," she sighed. "I'll be right back."

Numair watched her run down the long hallway. "Most unladylike," he noted to himself, smiling. Then he turned around to ready himself for the long ceremony that would take place shortly.


	3. Are we Lost?

Chapter 3

* * *

Numair was just running a brush through his jet-black locks of hair when Daine burst through the door.

"Here they are!" she said triumphantly, waving their wedding clothes. "Now we can really start getting ready!"

Then she stopped in her tracks- Numair was wiping a tear off his face! "What's wrong?" she asked him gently, kneeling in front of him.

"It is nothing, really, magelet," he said. "I am simply overcome with emotion at the thought of joining in matrimony with you. I just adore you so much."

"Oh, how sweet!" she remarked. "I love you, too. Ahh! I just understood Numairish!" She looked almost horrified. Numair started laughing uncontrollably at her look of mingled horror, confusion, and laughter.

Then they both got up and started getting dressed for their wedding.

Daine grumbled as she started pulling on her corset and bodice and lacing everything up. "I hate having to wear a dress," she complained. "I don't see why we can't just wear our regular things and have a small wedding with a few of our closest friends, who could also wear _their_ usual things."

"I agree," Numair replied.

"You don't have to wear a dress!" she exclaimed. "You don't know what it's like, being all laced up and not being able to move an inch in fear that you'll split the fabric! I can't move, and if there was an emergency, I wouldn't be able to do **anything**! I would have to just stand there and try to take this thing off in the middle of the crowd. Then I'd have to hope that someone would take pity on me and give me their cloak or something so I wouldn't be completely naked!"

"Magelet, calm down! Nothing is going to occur while we're getting joined in matrimony. It is going to be completely satisfactory." With that said, he grabbed her arm and proceeded to pull her out of their room.

She got her feet under her walking down the stairs and they continued on into the hallway. "Umm, Numair, do you know where we're going?" she asked. "Because I don't."

"Well, as a matter of fact… no, I do not."

They looked up and down the hallway, but didn't see anyone. "Maybe in the Grand Ballroom?" Daine suggested.

They started walking that way, but about halfway there they met Raoul and Buri coming the opposite way.

"Hi!" said Buri. "Where do you two think you're going? Trying to get away from your own wedding?"

"Well…" said Daine, blushing. "We forgot where they were going to have it so we were checking if it was in the Grand Ballroom."

"Nope," said Raoul. "It's in the Throne Room. King Jonathon is waiting."


	4. Surprise!

Chapter 4

* * *

Walking down the hallway, Daine and Numair were both very excited and a little bit nervous. Numair took Daine's hand and squeezed it gently. She squeezed back, and they both smiled at each other. Raoul and Buri didn't say much, but Daine and Numair understood- all four of them hated getting dressed up and going to court events.

The only reason Raoul and Buri were coming instead of training or practicing was because Daine and Numair had personally asked them to. When they walked into the Throne Room, they all stopped in confusion. No one was in there!

"Um, Raoul, didn't you say that it was in here?" asked Daine.

"Last I heard this was where it was going to be," he gruffly replied.

"Well then it seems to have been moved," remarked Buri with forced cheerfulness injected into her voice.

Then all of a sudden-

"SURPRISE!" yelled King Jonathon, Queen Thayet, Onua, Stephen, and various other court people.

"Numair…did you forget to tell me that your birthday was today?" whispered Daine. "I didn't know that people did things like this at a wedding."

"Not at all; my date of birth is not for a small number of additional months," he whispered back. "I concur, however, that their behavior is quite abnormal."

King Jonathon walked up to Daine and Numair- Raoul and Buri had disappeared into the large crowd.

"Congratulations!" he said.

"What?" asked Numair grumpily. He had been working on a large project intended for Daine once the ceremony was finished, and he wanted to put the finishing touches on it.

"We all know how much everyone hates being cooped up in this big gloomy castle, especially you two, so I moved everything out to some woods north of here."

As he said this, his face broke into a wide grin. "We knew you'd like it a lot more."

Daine gratefully smiled up at him, and everyone started walking out to the outdoor gazebo-type thing Jonathon had put up. The wedding proceeded without a hitch, and Numair and Daine were married happily. After the actual official ceremony, everyone ran back to their chambers to change into normal clothes, and then they all came back to talk to everyone and congratulate the newlyweds.

After being asked where they would be going on their honeymoon about a hundred times, they gave up and told everyone that weren't going anywhere. Jonathon even offered to pay for them to go somewhere exotic, but they insisted that they didn't want to.

"Besides, what would Cloud do if I left?" asked Daine. They were perfectly happy staying there.


	5. Umm We're not in College Anymore

Chapter 5

* * *

When the wedding was finally over and all of the guests had left, Daine and Numair were finally able to retire to their chambers. Daine lay down on their bed and closed her eyes, and Numair walked over into his workroom to finish his gift to Daine. He brought it out a few minutes later.

He gave it to Daine and her eyes welled up with tears.

"Thank you, Numair," was all she could say.

It was a beautifully shaped locket with Numair's and her pictures in it. Then she changed the subject.

"Well, I'm glad that that's over. Aren't you, Numair?" Daine said. "I mean, it was all very beautiful and meaningful and lovely and all that, but…"

"I understand what you're saying, magelet," Numair replied. "I also was fond of the nuptials. However, I also am content that it has been concluded."

Daine stared at him for a total of about five full minutes before she said, "Numair, I love you to pieces, but there is one thing that absolutely must change about you. You have to stop talking so strangely!"

"It may seem eccentric to you, Daine; nevertheless, to me it seems impeccably natural," he informed her. "There is most likely no possible way to cure me of talking in my ordinary manner."

"We'll just see about that," she muttered to herself. To Numair she declared, "I am going to try to break you of talking in your 'impeccably natural manner', Numair. And the first thing you're going to do is re-say those last two sentences you just said and say them normally."

"What!" exclaimed Numair. "I do not desire to do that!"

"Make that three sentences to do over," was all she said.

"Oh, fine. It may seem bizarre to you, Daine; but on the other hand, to me it seems perfectly ordinary. There is probably no possible way to cure me of talking in my regular way. What! I do not want to do that! So how was that, Daine?" he asked.

"Well, it was a bit better," she allowed. "But you still sound like you're trying to impress some of your university friends. One thing I noticed is that you don't use any contractions. Start!"

"Why?" asked Numair.

"Because normal people do," she answered. "But then again, you're not normal at all."

"That's a relief," he replied sarcastically.

"Hallelujah praise the gods!" she yelled suddenly.

"Augh! What?" he inquired.

"You did it! You did it!" she said excitedly. "You finally used a contraction! You just said 'that's' instead of 'that is'!" She ran over to him and hugged him hard.

"Only an abnormal person would say 'that is a relief', Daine" he told her. "Not even I would utter such a strange sentence."

"Here we go again," she sadly sighed.


End file.
